A most honest expression of interest spam email I received - 

Hello Dearest one,
I am joy by name a quiet and sincere girl. I love honesty and truth,
I trust people very much. I like nature quiet walks in the parks holding
hands listening to the whispering breeze and the songs of the birds;
admiring the smiling eyes of my lover, I hope to meet my true love,
I wait to hear from you,
yours in love,
joy,

Now only if I was looking for true love.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on………….he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things. 

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park
there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating 
pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants. 

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man,
there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

She drove in with a smile
turned her face around
those eyes
they had me drowned.

There was rain in the air
little drops falling aimlessly by
and some in her hair
lost in her fragrance, no sense would apply.

Her cold skin
that warm breath between her lips
the wild thoughts her kiss would unpin
I could drink her all night, in long drawn sips.

One touch, one embrace
one conversation with her bosom
life till that moment would erase
deeply intoxicating, she’s one sensual rum. 

She would wear flip flops
always to be found splashing by
holding my hand to her chest
there was love, the fact we couldn’t deny. 

There once was a boy
whose name meant the sea
and his mind
was like waves of curiosity.

He always kept cool
and kept cards close to his chest
but beneath poker player eyes
the kindest heart rests.

To know him is to love him
but he can never be tamed
for he dreams of the wild
and to ride over mountains. 

The writer had got me tightlipped. Which by the way, is an emotion I seldom experience. Love you girl.

• The floor trainer has been constantly pitching himself for personal training sessions. 10 for 7K. I asked him what turnarounds does he promise. He says all muscles but one. We grinned.
• The gym has a drinks bar now. Serving tea/coffee of all kinds. This place is turning out to be the longest star treatment I have had all my life.
• Towels dropping and things peeping has become a common sight in the locker room now.
• They changed the shampoo and shower gel in the bathrooms. These ones feel cheaper on the hair and skin respectively. Shady colors as well.
• I must cut down on the time spent on the treadmill. Can’t afford to lose weight.
• There is this one female trainer who once did a chest press with the same weight as I was. In the next hour she was leaving the gym for the day dressed in a green suit and flip flops. I experienced platonic love once again. And I miss seeing her these days.
• There’s another she trainer who in other good times would have been a ramp model in Sri Lanka. 
• This one middle-aged woman who works out almost every evening when I am there resembles so much like the 2009 girl. I can feel this intense sexual energy with the (possible) Mom as well. 
• The gym is like THE melting pot. There’s something of everything.
• I might not be the most hard working at the gym, but I sure am in the top three when it comes to smiles. The infection is spreading.
• Been reaching home around 11PM these days. My personal life is at a great risk.
• I manage boners while working out. You WILL not find another with this talent.
• My left arm is weaker than the right. All along I thought otherwise since the left did all the self-humping.

I shall go watch some arty porn now. Thanks.